People are idiots

Some days I truly wonder about people. Today I went out at lunch to get soup at this bakery close by. They have the best soups. So I wait in line behind a few people. I get one person from the counter and this woman steps right in front of me because obviously I wasn't in line? I said um I'm in line which she ignores. And then the clerk at the counter sees she wasn't in line and asks me what I want to which she then replies her order.  I lost it and shouted seriously you just walked in front of me?
WTF? Am I invisible? I was clearly a lot taller than this woman. And my blonde hair tends to stick out. I mean who are you that you completely discount a person standing there? It's happened a lot before. Like oh the tall blonde woman doesn't care if I walk in front of her.

I've completely lost it

Last weekend, husband and I moved out of the city to Jersey.  It was the logical move. We needed more room, we outgrew the condo, and we spent months looking for houses in the city only to not really love anything and not have enough room for our two dogs. I really wanted them to have a yard.  Husband is from Jersey so it's not bad plus most of our friends have left the city and moved to Jersey.  We could have moved to the burbs in PA however the Septa trains sort of suck on a daily basis for commuting. Patco in South Jerz is a lot more reliable plus it only takes like 15 minutes to get home. Well, now every time I go over the Ben Franklin bridge I cry because I can see where our condo is (we still own it, we just have renters now).  And I miss our little city life. Now the nutty part is that I was sick of our city life to a point. Our neighborhood was really crowded on weekends with girls in Snooki short outfits slutting it up all year round at the bars. Yes I once was one of those girls but I wouldn't be caught dead, ever in tiny lycra number and heels on a Friday night in Philly. They look like jersey shore rejects. And these people drunk petting my two dogs when I took them out for their last walk of the night on a Friday or Saturday. Or the insane tourists all weekend long asking for directions to things.
And the funniest part of the move? It takes the same amount of time to get home to our Jersey home as it did to get to our condo in Philly. The trip down Market street 15 blocks takes the same as 15 miles into another state? 
I still work in the city it just feels different. I guess the burbs is a big adjustment. I don't feel cool anymore. Although I doubt I was very cool when I lived in the city at least not since I am married. 

Mondays suck

Apparently I'm paying for something from a previous life. My job, no matter what I do I can 't win. Like now, husband & I bought a house which we need to paint plus buy other furniture and then move the following weekend. Well, my boss says my time management skills are bad. Oh Really??? Because I can't work all weekend? No my time management skills are fine, it's just I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO! And seriously work is not priority here my house and husband are.  Of course she also has NO HEART as she made my poor coworker work on her husband's bday which was a Saturday. Nice one bitch.  I don't think she got the memo that we are librarians and no one really gives a f*ck what we do.


Then I get a facebook email from my sister in law's bff about her bridal shower. Okay the wedding isn't until August. I'm in my two best friend's weddings before then and unlike the rest of her bridesmaids, I'm not a teacher so I don't have summers off. So for me planning? Yeah not happening. Besides the fact I can't stand my sister in law. If any of my kids turn out to be a bratty 25 year old, I will disown them. Husband already said no girls please.
Oh and my one friend who I am in her wedding is so afraid husband and I will get pregnant before her wedding. Well sorry if we do. It is our life and we are not living for anyone else. Besides if we hold off until all the weddings are over, guess what another year will have rolled by and me being creeping up on 40 isn't going to add to our baby chances.

gifts for bosses?

So we have this tradition every year in my library that they give the director a big gift. I don't really get it. She usually gives us like tiny gifts which I would rather do without. Yet we are expected to give the manager like 20 bucks to buy a bigger gift for the director. It must be nice that someone buys you an ipod (1st year I was here) or a $200 macy's gift card yearly because you know she needs new work clothes. I mean really she makes more than the rest of us. I need new work clothes too but I have to stop myself from purchasing because I'm saving money to buy a house. Um she's not really that great of a boss. In fact, she's mean and part of the reason I work my own job plus spend over four hours a week helping out reference when I'm swamped.  And much of my source of stress. Take for instance yesterday, everyone else was gone for the day. I needed to leave 15 minutes early just because. Well, because, I was planning on working on part of what I was doing at home and because I worked through lunch. Plus, I'm salaried and work weekends and nights more often than I care to, but I leave early and get an email from her saying can I email some article to a partner. So instead of replying on my blackberry, I have to hurry home, log in to my laptop making it look like I'm still at the office to send this article and then not even get a thanks from anyone involved. Yeah that was nice. Plus you stressed me out so much I didn't go to the gym then freaked out at my husband about the house.
So why is it I'm giving her a gift? That 20 bucks could be better spent on many happier things for me.

Houses...and apparently being a disappointment to my family because I want a big house...

We found another house that we are making an offer on. I'm sure it will get turned down unless they are desperate to sell.  But although I love the old victorian we found, it's like 1.5 miles from the train plus it's near the not so good elementary school for our imaginary children. The other house is 2 blocks from the train and a block from downtown  and the good elementary school.

Apparently also now since we are looking for a house so are my younger brother and his wife, which is good, I just don't need my parents comments comparing the two.  My husband and I want a bigger house, with probably 4 bedrooms, finished attic and a bigger yard. It's not like it's a mansion! It's a normal sized house. My brother however is looking at a less expensive row home. I send my mom the link to the new house we are looking at and her comment is "it's more expensive and very big" and then proceeds to tell me about the house my brother looked at like it was so much better.  No one takes into consideration that we need to be near the city for work, an hour away from the city in PA  is cheaper than NJ and we have two very active dogs who need a fenced in yard, they have one sluggish bulldog.  My brother and his wife are cool with things. They could care less. I just would rather not hear about my big house and was I going to get a cleaning person, what is it any of their business? And also have they met my husband? He's cheap. We will be cleaning that big house ourselves. And also, it's our money who cares?  We are 35 years old and already own one house. I think we can figure out what we are doing.  We aren't asking for money or anything. 

But it is like this with everything. I feel like my mother likes to make it a competition and I really just want to be left alone.  I wanted a big house so I can have family over for holidays.  But no matter what I do, it's never good enough.  I was the smart kid who always had good grades, my brother not so much. But whatever I did, I could never live up to him. Even now, I finished my masters in library science years ago and have been a librarian for awhile now in a good paying position.  My brother, starts working for his college's library while going back to school for teaching, somehow gets a job in the library full time and is now thinking about going to library school. She acts like it's some revolutionary thing, not that her oldest didn't graduate already?  She even made it sound like he had a masters and I didn't. Wtf?  It's not like I haven't been in this business for years now and have a decent salary. College libraries don't pay that much.  

 

And she's doing it with kids now too. It's like some race to see who gets the first kid, even though I'm sure mine will be the problem children just like my dogs are. 

Oy Men...

I love my husband dearly but sometimes he does oddball things that he has to know are going to drive me mad and make me usually yell at him for not telling me. Like today for instance, I email my husband to tell him that one of the houses we are really looking at buying was taken off of Zillow. I get an email back right away saying he has paid time off and is returning 12/2.  Um, did we not take the bus together this morning into work? Where is he? Did we actually just buy the house and he's over there and I have no idea (which is most likely not the scenario, but however would be a wonderful surprise)? And why wouldn't you tell your wife that maybe you were taking part of the day off?  He likes to do this many times to go to sporting events during the day or out with the guys and not tell me because he thinks it makes me upset. I really could care less if he goes to hang out with his friends whenever. Most of them are married and have kids so anytime they can hang out with him I say is great. Plus he works a lot so he deserves a break sometimes. But seriously tell your wife? I tell him every insignificant stupid thing. I expect to at least know when he's got a day off because not telling your wife is, um a bit shady.  He seems to think if he tells me that I get upset when I really only get upset not being told because dear it looks like you are up to something if you don't. No matter how I explain this, he still doesn't get it...

Why is the heat up to 85 already?

The people I work with have many issues. One of them is the problem that they turn up the heat in our library to 85 or higher. Yeah I personally like fall and winter and different fashions which include sweaters, tights, and boots. I do not however like to sweat in those things because you feel blouses and cheap cardigans from the loft are proper winter wear.  I get cold too but I know how to dress for it. 

My real issue with my job is this stupid reference desk thing. I am no longer a reference librarian. I do mostly reports which involve a lot of reading and writing and time.  Therefore, I think my coworker and I should not have to spend 3+ hours per week sitting at the reference desk while the reference librarians get time to do nothing but read the news or play on facebook.  So both of us get our three hours in sitting here trying to do our own work which is hard because you get interupted out here and then we end up working weekends while they leave before 5 on a Friday while I'm here until 6 and then have to work the next few days too.  It makes no sense yet our director sees no issue with this.  It would be nice if one of them could fill in for my work too for a few hours a week and maybe I could sit and read a book. It's just unneeded stress for me. The job has made me fat because of the stress and then it just gets worse. I look for other jobs but there is nothing. Two recruiters called me about a job last month that was perfect for me at another firm doing the same thing I do now for almost 2x as much and not in the library but in the marketing department where I could just be in my office working.  But even though they said your resume is great, just what the firm is looking for, I don't even get a return phone call or email after the recruiter has an interview with the hiring person at the firm.  Then I see a job at my old firm, send my resume to my old director only to hear nothing which basically makes me feel like crap because when I left they practically begged me not to go however they just didn't want to pay me more so I had to. But still everyone sent me flowers for my new office and I'm still friends with a few of the people I worked with who are still there. 
I'm just frustrated with the job thing. Yes I should be glad I have one but sometimes the stress isn't worth it. For example, the week I came back from my honeymoon, I had to work the following weekend because a project was due. Yeah great way to start off a marriage. Husband was pissed. 
Not to mention we are looking at houses because we are getting older and want to actually start a family.  But how when you have to work all the time?  Part of me wants out of the city. I love the city for some things but with work, no matter what happens, snow, floods, etc. I'm expected to be here even if I have to walk in a few feet of snow. If we lived in the burbs I could get away with working at home if the weather sucked. 
Plus I'm kind of tired of the city. It was fun as a single girl but as I get older it gets more annoying. Our neighborhood has this first friday thing where the galleries are open on the first Friday of the month. It's a nice concept however it's not nice if you live in the neighborhood and have to walk home through the crowds on your street who don't move over or have no concept that people actually live there and need to walk down the sidewalk to get home. Or have to walk dogs in it. Not fun at all.