Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Correctol...damn you...

After a particularly bad two weeks of barely being able to go to the bathroom (#2 that is), I gave in last night and took Correctol....You know the one from the commercials when we were kids. It's the gentle lady laxative. Gentle, my friends, it is not. I tired saline (makes me puke) and natural laxatives (also make me puke) but this, this was some horrible sh*t.  I woke up this morning with horrid stomach pains worse than any gas that I have ever had. I thought i was going to die. Seriously, my poor dog looked at me like something bad was going to happen and took off to hid under my bed. Also, I noticed my room smelled like something died and was hidden under the bed. Guess it gave me gas too. Well after some explosions I felt okay and got ready for work. However not an hour after sitting down was I running to the ladies room with hopes no one else was in there because mount Vesuvius was erupting again. Any type of liquid or food was sending me straight to the bathroom. Yikes. Holy sh*t (literally). 
To say I have stomach issues is putting it lightly.  I was diagnosed with having IBS when I was in college. Mostly the c part however once or twice a year my colon likes to throw in a surprise with a month of the d. Ick.  Although, I learned that that's what they call it until they figure out what the hell you actually have. For years I struggled with awful constipation and pain after eating certain foods.  My one doctor actually told me I needed to exercise more when I was sitting in his office after yet another round of tests where they found nothing.  My mother looked at me and looked at him and burst out laughing..."Exercise more? The kid is a cross country runner. She runs daily since she was 15. Exercise more? We think she exercises TOO MUCH!"  He then went on to say I was looking heavier. Um dude I run 30-50 miles a week plus I have horrid stomach issues, I eat baby food most of the time, I don't lose weight, for me losing weight equals not eating...At the time I probably was 120 lbs at best.  See when I get a bout of horribleness, my stomach swells up to look like I'm close to a delivery date.  Nothing makes it go away until I can finally get out whatever got stuck in the first place.  Then, he also told me it was stress. Whatever. It took til I was 33 until they discovered hey take a blood test and maybe a sample of the girls colon and find out. Turns out I have celiac disease. And years of stomach issues could have been helped with one stupid simple test rather than doctors saying stress or they had no idea. Take fiber was their favorite which I would take and then get so bloated I looked pregnant. Anyway, now somehow I have limited my diet that I'm okay. I still get the bouts but usually they go away. Yikes to the correctol though. That shit is serious.